Tuesday, November 16, 2010

We’re all terrorists now!

smith-tsa-kids-1st-cavity-searchI’m here to say that Al Qaeda has won! We are now all considered terrorists when we buy a ticket to fly on a commercial airline. It’s now the default. You’re a terrorists until the  government, in the guise of a TSA flunky, says you’re not.

This recent attention to the new airport screening started with pilots complaining about having to go through body scans over and over every time they go to the airport to fly passengers to their destinations. The TSA responded if they didn’t want to go through the body scan they can submit to pat downs. I can not tell how that’s not a very comforting sight to see your airline pilot being patted down before he gets on YOUR plane. Thank God the TSA has determined that he’s not a terrorist! Whew!

Then the other night was a piece on TV about this TSA body scan and pat down security. In part of this particular piece was a video showing a three year old girl screaming at the top of her lungs “don’t touch me!” as the TSA guard tried to pat her down. Come on folks! Is it necessary to traumatize a little girl just because some idiot from the Middle East tried to blow up his under wear? Realistically, is a three year old girl an agent of Al Qaeda?

On a recent trip I watched how TSA tried to search a frail old lady in a wheelchair to make sure she wasn’t a bomber. She could hardly stand up to go through the metal detector. She didn’t fit the trademarks of a terrorists but the TSA was hell-bent on making sure this woman didn’t have any bomb making material. None-the-less, I’m sure that Al Qaeda is now recruiting little old ladies for their next attack in addition to three year old girls.

Why are we  doing this? To keep America safe! We are continuing to spend time, resources, and gobs of money to catch those terrorists. “They”, who ever “they” are, point out that the terrorists are still trying to blow up planes. They tell us that terrorists keep coming up with new and improved ways to try to blow up planes. And our wonderful government needs to stay one step ahead of them to protect us. Hence all this pat down stuff and the new high tech body scans. So what happens when the terrorists come up with some other way to blow up a plane? What new and denigrating way can the TSA develop to search us before we board that flight?

I propose that the next time you go to the airport to fly, when you get to the security line you take off all your clothes and walk through naked. That way they can just check you visually to see you are not carrying any bombs and then your can dress up and go on your merry way. No pat downs, no body scans. Think how much time and money we will save!