I want to be a preacher!

I have a relative, a Christian evangelical, who lost his regular job some time ago and rumor has it that he is thinking of becoming a preacher. This caused me to think about the preaching business and let there be no mistake, it is a business.

For the longest time I have always thought that the reason Christianity succeeded was that it was one of the first network or multilevel marketing organizations. The idea was that you would "convert" some of your friends and you would get them to convert some of their friends and so on. Just like selling insurance with Primerica. Over a period of time the organization would grow and bingo, you have a megachurch like Joel Osteen's. Need less to say the guy at the top gets all the coin.

The other part of being a preacher is that you are really a salesman selling something that people don't get, supposedly, until they die. Notice that the really good ones, those with the most coin, tend to be good salesmen. What a great scam this Christianity is. I, your wonderful preacher, is selling you "eternal life." Want some? Well you'll get it but first you have to die. If you die and don't get eternal life, well tough cookies. No refund!

Now if you could only figure out a way to do that and not have to deal with all those closed minded Christians who may lynch you if you don't preach the right thing. Oh, I thought Christinaity was about peace and love. Silly me.